You give me fever

I have yet to have a fever with this cancer, yet I seem to have just caught one. I suddenly have baby fever. For those of you who know me, I'll give you a moment to wrap your heads around that one.
I want to have kids, but always wanted to keep putting it off because I'm selfish and like the freedom I have to do whatever I want. If the hubby and I want to stay out late, no big deal! Sleep until 10? Done! But a baby would change that. Now I want that baby.
An unfortunate possibility of having chem/radiation is it could affect my fertility. I think a lot of strides have been made where that has been lessened, but it's still a possiblity. I already have worries based on my past medical history that I'll be a tough conceiver, but this doesn't help.
So of course, something I can't have now or in the immediate future suddenly becomes so desirable to me. Babies symbolize hope, new beginnings, cuddly little poopers. Hopefully once cancer rides off into the sunset and lets me be me again, I'll be able to have one of those little poopers. We're also quite open to adoption if having it the "free" way doesn't work out. I know this is something in the future that I shouldn't be wasting my energy or thoughts on, but again, if you know me, I always think ahead. I'm a planner (although I must have missed cancer penciled into my datebook). To be honest, the thought of having a baby makes this a tiny bit more tolerable and gives me an extra goal to work toward fighting the cancer.