I knew my 1-year anniversary of remission was coming up, but I wasn't exactly sure when. After checking back on this blog, I realized it's today! Happy remission day to me. :)
I see Dr. Shorty next week, and I assume my next scan will be in March. I signed myself (and the husband, perhaps somewhat reluctantly) to run the IU mini marathon at the end of March. My reasons? 1. I want to prove to myself I can do it again. 2. I need an excuse to work out. 3. The money goes to providing scholarships for students who had cancer. Trifecta of good reasons! Speaking of trifectas, if anyone is free that weekend, they should come down and we can go out in Bloomington. :)
Hopefully these posts will continue to be far and few between and always with good news. I am very thankful for my good health right now and it's definitely something I do not take for granted.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Cancer has some benefits
Hello my friends! It has been a busy time for me this week. Many doctors appointments, including my CT scan. (It took two nurses four times to get a vein. I'm awesome.)Now I wait until Monday for the results.
Regarding the title of my post, because I got cancer, I was on the Smiley Morning Show today to promote KJ's Cancer Sucks party to benefit LLS. My dad recorded it, so I got to hear it. I don't sound bad, but I thought, do I really sound like that?
Regarding the title of my post, because I got cancer, I was on the Smiley Morning Show today to promote KJ's Cancer Sucks party to benefit LLS. My dad recorded it, so I got to hear it. I don't sound bad, but I thought, do I really sound like that?
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
Most days are fine, some are, well ...
Funny how the human mind works. I can go days or weeks without really thinking about my cancer, although I do remember that I had it every day. How can I not when I see my short hair or the scar on my chest. It's no big deal and I move on. I HAD cancer, but I'm fine now.
But then there are the days, actually the nights, where my mind is full of anxiety and fear about the cancer coming back. Typically it's been an imminent doctor's appointment triggering the thoughts, but last night, I have no idea why. I could not shut my mind off. I thought, what if my cancer comes back right around my friend's wedding in 2013, which I am in. What if I find cancer in my next scan in September, have to have chemo, and lose my hair before another friend's October wedding? What if it comes back and kills what little chance I may still have to have a baby? Will I have to have another bone marrow biopsy (which I literally fear more than anything else in my life. I was put under for the only one I had, but I have heard horror stories, and heard grown men have jumped off tables when it happens. Think about it people, needle through bone. not cool). Will I let my family down if it comes back? Will people be annoyed or bothered that I've got cancer again? What was that pain? What's that bump? Does my neck look swollen? Why did I eat that dessert it will cause cancer because cancer likes sugar! ahhhhhhhhh! Yes people, that is the anxiety taking over.
Given my somewhat anxious nature in life, I'm surprised these nights don't happen more often. I think I've handled this situation far better than I expected, but sometimes I feel paralyzed by the "what ifs" which is no way to live. But overall my life is good, so thankfully, these nights don't happen often. Check back with me in mid-September before my next scan and see how I'm doing. :P
But then there are the days, actually the nights, where my mind is full of anxiety and fear about the cancer coming back. Typically it's been an imminent doctor's appointment triggering the thoughts, but last night, I have no idea why. I could not shut my mind off. I thought, what if my cancer comes back right around my friend's wedding in 2013, which I am in. What if I find cancer in my next scan in September, have to have chemo, and lose my hair before another friend's October wedding? What if it comes back and kills what little chance I may still have to have a baby? Will I have to have another bone marrow biopsy (which I literally fear more than anything else in my life. I was put under for the only one I had, but I have heard horror stories, and heard grown men have jumped off tables when it happens. Think about it people, needle through bone. not cool). Will I let my family down if it comes back? Will people be annoyed or bothered that I've got cancer again? What was that pain? What's that bump? Does my neck look swollen? Why did I eat that dessert it will cause cancer because cancer likes sugar! ahhhhhhhhh! Yes people, that is the anxiety taking over.
Given my somewhat anxious nature in life, I'm surprised these nights don't happen more often. I think I've handled this situation far better than I expected, but sometimes I feel paralyzed by the "what ifs" which is no way to live. But overall my life is good, so thankfully, these nights don't happen often. Check back with me in mid-September before my next scan and see how I'm doing. :P
Thursday, March 31, 2011
All aboard the crazy cancer train...
It was a year ago today that I punched my ticket for the crazy cancer train. It was a year ago today that I went to the doctor for the strange swelling in my neck and ending up having more tests, blood work, and doctor visits than I had in my previous 29 years combined.
There are some things about that day that I can remember clearly. What I was wearing, that it was VERY hot out, looking out the window at Clarian West while bawling on the phone to my husband that they wanted to do a biopsy and more tests. (I was by myself for the initial tests). I really don't know how I drove home that day. I managed to compose myself enough to call work to let them know what was going on.
I had my biopsy two days later, found out I had cancer three days after that, and it was full speed ahead on the cancer train from that point on. Unfortunately it wasn't a high speed train, and it took about 7 months for me to get off that train. What a long and bumpy ride. It seems SO long ago, yet like I just finished chemo two weeks ago.
Goodbye cancer train, I hope I don't ever have to purchase another ticket to ride on your stupid train again. :P
There are some things about that day that I can remember clearly. What I was wearing, that it was VERY hot out, looking out the window at Clarian West while bawling on the phone to my husband that they wanted to do a biopsy and more tests. (I was by myself for the initial tests). I really don't know how I drove home that day. I managed to compose myself enough to call work to let them know what was going on.
I had my biopsy two days later, found out I had cancer three days after that, and it was full speed ahead on the cancer train from that point on. Unfortunately it wasn't a high speed train, and it took about 7 months for me to get off that train. What a long and bumpy ride. It seems SO long ago, yet like I just finished chemo two weeks ago.
Goodbye cancer train, I hope I don't ever have to purchase another ticket to ride on your stupid train again. :P
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Butler makes me emotional
The Butler Bulldogs just won and will now be in the Final Four. Because I am lame, it made me tear up. Not just because I'm excited for them, but because I will forever associate Butler with my cancer.
Last year, as Butler was making their run in the tournament, I discovered the lump in my neck. When they were playing in the Final Four, I was waiting for the results of my tests to see if I had cancer. At the time, I wanted Butler to win so bad because it would have given me something to look forward to on Monday evening with them playing in the final game. That Monday would also be the day I would get my diagnosis. Butler won and played Monday. I found out I had cancer around 3 p.m. Monday and that evening, I was able to cheer on the Bulldogs and temporarily be distracted from my diagnosis.
Flash forward to this year, and Butler is doing it again, only this time I'm cancer free. Their run in the tournament this year makes me think back to last year. Hopefully this year, they can win it all and I'll remain cancer free. A win/win for everyone.
Last year, as Butler was making their run in the tournament, I discovered the lump in my neck. When they were playing in the Final Four, I was waiting for the results of my tests to see if I had cancer. At the time, I wanted Butler to win so bad because it would have given me something to look forward to on Monday evening with them playing in the final game. That Monday would also be the day I would get my diagnosis. Butler won and played Monday. I found out I had cancer around 3 p.m. Monday and that evening, I was able to cheer on the Bulldogs and temporarily be distracted from my diagnosis.
Flash forward to this year, and Butler is doing it again, only this time I'm cancer free. Their run in the tournament this year makes me think back to last year. Hopefully this year, they can win it all and I'll remain cancer free. A win/win for everyone.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Photos of a cancer beater
Taken March 30, 2010 - the day I first noticed the lump.
Another view of said lump.
The first day of chemo.
Me in Chicago in August. Note the lack of hair.
My last chemo treatment!
Still cancer free, sucka!
I had my scan last Monday and got the results Wednesday. I passed, no cancer! Of course I passed, I am an excellent student. Then the husband and I jotted off to Georgia for a wedding, so thus the delay in posting this. Next up is a follow up visit with the doc in three months, followed by a CT scan three months from that.
I may have to visit Doctor Proctor again. My issue seems to have re-emerged from hibernation. Joy. :) Beyond that I'm hanging in there.
I've uploaded some pictures I took during my cancer experience and now I'm finally getting around to uploading them. I think it's easier if I just put them in one post instead of trying to insert back into every post. We'll see!
I may have to visit Doctor Proctor again. My issue seems to have re-emerged from hibernation. Joy. :) Beyond that I'm hanging in there.
I've uploaded some pictures I took during my cancer experience and now I'm finally getting around to uploading them. I think it's easier if I just put them in one post instead of trying to insert back into every post. We'll see!
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Update
Hello. I'm not sure if anyone one is even checking this blog anymore. But for those of you who are, here's the 411. I've been doing pretty well, at least I think so. I'm "running" again and will do a 5k tomorrow. My hair is growing, although the hair on my legs is very slow growing and now my underarm hair is pretty much non existant. I will not complain, unless this is a sign of something bad. I'm hoping it's just a benefit of chemo. There are benefits to chemo, right?
Monday is my first follow up CT scan. Here's to hoping they can get the IV in on the first shot and my scan comes back clean. I'm not necessarily worried, but I am pretty anxious. It's like living my life in 3 months increments, and if this comes back clean, I'll feel ok for another 3 months, unless some other symptom comes up.
Yesterday, the hubby and I went to a LLS symposium, kind of an overview by docs on different topics. Hearing about the new research and medicine is promising and it also makes me grateful for how "easy" my experience was/is as compared to some of the other people there. Here's to hoping it continues to go smoothly!
Monday is my first follow up CT scan. Here's to hoping they can get the IV in on the first shot and my scan comes back clean. I'm not necessarily worried, but I am pretty anxious. It's like living my life in 3 months increments, and if this comes back clean, I'll feel ok for another 3 months, unless some other symptom comes up.
Yesterday, the hubby and I went to a LLS symposium, kind of an overview by docs on different topics. Hearing about the new research and medicine is promising and it also makes me grateful for how "easy" my experience was/is as compared to some of the other people there. Here's to hoping it continues to go smoothly!
Friday, January 28, 2011
Stay away 101!
Rememeber a few posts ago how Dr. Shorty mentioned if I have a fever of 101 or higher I need to call her...I'm getting dangerously close. It seems something is going around and it caught up to the husband and me. He got it first and I've been dealing with it since Wednesday evening. My fever has gone up and down and today it's pretty close to 101. I'm chugging orange juice, taking meds, and hoping for the best.
It's funny, but before I got cancer, I had taken 1 1/2 sick days in about 4 1/2 years at work, and in the first three years of work, I took none. My immune system rocked (and I tend to get sick on weekends or holidays, lucky me) but I've heard chemo can reek havoc on your immune system. I hope that's not the case.
It's weird being home from work on a sick day. At least I'm not laying in bed trying not to throw up from chemo.
House update: We're almost done! We just need to put shevles in closets, trim around windows, and add some decorations. :)
It's funny, but before I got cancer, I had taken 1 1/2 sick days in about 4 1/2 years at work, and in the first three years of work, I took none. My immune system rocked (and I tend to get sick on weekends or holidays, lucky me) but I've heard chemo can reek havoc on your immune system. I hope that's not the case.
It's weird being home from work on a sick day. At least I'm not laying in bed trying not to throw up from chemo.
House update: We're almost done! We just need to put shevles in closets, trim around windows, and add some decorations. :)
Thursday, January 6, 2011
Hello! Just a quick update for those who still check this. I'm doing well and feeling good. I have been going to the gym and trying to get back my endurance. Nothing like some time on the treadmill! We've been so busy with the house and it's so close to being finished. It's very exciting to have a bedroom upstairs with a closet! (too bad all my clothes won't fit...:P) And I turned 30. joy. :)
I'm a little behind the times on this, but I just saw today that Deanna Dewberry from Channel 8 news just discovered she has breast cancer. She's being pretty public with her battle and even has a revealing and interesting blog. I read it at work and it got me a little teary, bringing me back to my experience. Turns out she's had cancer three times now! the first time was Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, then a type of luekemia, and now breast cancer. I must admit it made me sad on a lot of levels,the most selfish one being that I feared it could happen to me. I've read that there may be a connection between chemo for HL later causing leukemia. I hope and pray that doesn't happen to me.
I told the husband I've noticed I've been thinking about cancer and such a lot more lately in the last few days. Can't explain why,but I'm trying to stay positive and have no reason to worry right now!
I'm a little behind the times on this, but I just saw today that Deanna Dewberry from Channel 8 news just discovered she has breast cancer. She's being pretty public with her battle and even has a revealing and interesting blog. I read it at work and it got me a little teary, bringing me back to my experience. Turns out she's had cancer three times now! the first time was Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma, then a type of luekemia, and now breast cancer. I must admit it made me sad on a lot of levels,the most selfish one being that I feared it could happen to me. I've read that there may be a connection between chemo for HL later causing leukemia. I hope and pray that doesn't happen to me.
I told the husband I've noticed I've been thinking about cancer and such a lot more lately in the last few days. Can't explain why,but I'm trying to stay positive and have no reason to worry right now!
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