tired

I've been going non stop since 7 a.m. today. My dinner is almost done and then I plan to sit on my butt all night. I'm pooped. Feeling pretty well given that I had chemo 4 days ago. I even had qdoba for lunch. I swear I crave nacho cheese all the time. :P
I find that some things I am getting an aversion to so that stinks. For example, I fell in love with edy's strawberry popsicles. Had 3 right after chemo. Then on Saturday, the thought of having one made me feel ill. Right now, they still don't sound good. but nacho cheese does! :P

I'm definitely not 100 percent by any means. Still get a little queasy every once in a while. Didn't end up as sore as i was last time, but I swear I feel my port more than ever. I can feel the tube in my neck and it just bothers me. A lot of getting through treatment is psychological...

I think my hair may be growing. The hair on the top of my head looks different, maybe longer. I've heard that's possible. It definitely seems to be falling out less. come on hair, come back soon! Wigs are hot! :(

I woke up today and felt OK. I pushed my luck and decided to take an anti nausea pill at 9:30 just to be safe. And now I feel gross. :P I can't win. Last time I had chemo, I felt sick on sunday, especially in the evening, so i'm trying to prevent that. I did have some toast and apple juice this morning. i'm pretty sure I'm slightly dehyrated, so I'm sure that doesn't help with how I'm feeling.

I also have a slight fever still - 99.0. my body temp is usually 97.9. I have to watch this - not sure if it's due to the white blood cell shot, chemo, or I have picked up something. this is three straight days with an elevated temp. Hmmm...

I'm hoping to feel well enough today to get out of the house. I'd like to find a chaise lounge for outside and go to my niece's first birthday party. but If i don't feel well, or this higher temp continues, it may not be in my best interest to get around people. :(

Same old, same old

couple days after chemo. Fighting off nausea. I've just been in and out of queasiness. Sucks. I know i've said this about a million times, but it is such a chore to take my anti nausea meds after a while. struggling with that. I hope after tonight or early tomorrow I won't have to take anymore.
Have had a slight fever today 99.1. If I get to 100 I am supposed to call el doctor. If I still have a fever tomorrow i probably won't be able to go out. I have to be uber cautious.

On a side note, today's the 3rd anniversary of my husband and my first date. Tomorrow is our 1 year wedding anniversary. My warranty expires tomorrow. He hasn't traded me in yet, so that's good.
It's funny, last year at this time, my biggest stress was the fact our church wasn't done and we had to get married in the reception hall. Now I'm fighting cancer. puts it all in perspective right?

I got 5 on it

Chemo No. 5 is under my belt. i feel gross. i felt really sick in the office, and when i got home i took some more anti nausea meds. i feel better but definitely still gross and no real appetite.
i hope that i don't have horrible nausea this time but so far its not boding well. go in for the shot tomorrow. ouchie.

Inspiration turns to panic

I recently read stories on the Leukemia and Lymphoma's web site. Some said, "I had Hodgkin's lymphoma 10 years ago and I've been cancer free ever since!" Others said "I was diagnosed in 2005, beat it, and then my cancer came back 4 years later." :( I've spent so much time focusing on today that I don't want to think about not beating this the first time.
Statistics don't always mean everything, but based on my stage, I have a 65%ish chance to beat this in 5 years. Gah. Not as good as the 90 percent if you are stage 1. Smartly, I stopped reading them because I didn't want to have a panic attack. I'm not trying to be ignorant or stupid but I think for my health and recovery, I just have to think about today.
I'm glad the US won in soccer today because now I'll have something to watch Saturday while I'm lying on the couch trying not to hurl. Hooray! :P And, if everything goes right, I'll be on treatment 5. almost half way done!!! As much as this sucks, again, I have to realize that I could have had it worse now in so many ways - I could have had to have bone marrow transpants or stems cell transpants, I could be sick more often and worse, and I could not have a great support system.

Hello friends! Sorry for the long delay in blogging. You see, I have a life outside of cancer that takes me away from here sometimes. I've just been busy with work and having a social life, as well as not really having much to blog about. I don't want to bore you with the same ol' same ol' "I'm nauseas" "My stomach hurts" "I've pooped!" I don't want to sound like a broken record.
I also find when I'm feeling OK, I blog less, so take a lack of posts as a good sign for me.
I've worn my wig a few times, but it's been so hot that I don't want to. It makes me warm wearing it. I wore it to work twice, but had to take it off a few times to air my head out. Nylon doesn't breathe. But I've gotten many compliments on it. It's a very cute wig. But I feel like it screams, HEY I'M A WIG! LOOK! And as faithful blog readers know about me, I don't really care for being the center of attention or even noticed (typically).
Monday I went to a Look Good Feel Better class offered by the American Cancer Society. I was hoping to get more out of it, but I did get a bunch of random makeup. Basically, I learned how to put on a lot of makeup - more make up than I'd ever wear. I did learn how to draw on eyebrows, so that's helpful in case mine fall out. They are still there -in fact I still have quite a bit of body hair and hair on my head. I've definitely lost a lot, don't get me wrong, but since I was a fairly hairy woman, that has been advantageous because I still have some left. I know I've lost a lot of nose hairs and that just feels funny when I breathe in sometimes.
I've been tired a lot, but this weekend has been good. I had a great Tuesday - I felt like I could have run a couple miles. Wednesday and Thursday were struggles for me. I even had to work from home one day because my stomach just wasn't right. Boo. But I seem to be back on track, just in time to start getting ready for chemo No. 5. Johnny 5 is alive!

It's 8 p.m. Sunday night and I had to take an anti-nausea pill. that never happens. I've definitely been struggling with nausea all weekend. Makes it very hard to eat or drink, and again, the problem with my AN pill is i associate it with nausea and taking it makes me nausea. the taste bothers me. I may need an alternative. ugh.
Cried pretty hard a little bit ago, but I do feel better now. The husband was here to love on me. Only 8 more times right?

I'm hanging in there. Feel kind of yucky. Serious, when your anti-nausea medicine makes you nauseas, defeats the purpose. I am hoping to feel ok enough to go watch the world cup game down the street at a local (smoke free) bar, but chances are I'll just stay here. Still feel kind of icky and iffy as far as my stomach. I have some soreness from the shot in my back, legs, and butt. ha. gone to the bathroom yesterdya and today. nothing to write home about but better than before I took miralax, so I'll take it.
I'm going to try to eat something now. Wish me luck.

Xanax (or whatever that generic form I'm taking( may become my new BFF. I popped another before i went to bed and was dead to the world for about six hours. then i was awake for 2 hours before sleeping again for an hour. I popped another anti nausea pill this mornng and i'm sipping on apple juice and eating toast. I'm hoping that i feel ok for the rest of the time. the annual nausea pill still makes me feel gross. ugh.
No pooping yet :( but i'm hopeful i will sometime today. Come on miralax work!!!
by the by i'm typing on a netbook so forgive the typos. i hate tiny keyboards. how would someone with sausage fingers use this thing?/

You may have noticed I changed the blog layout. I think this template looks much more bad ass and threatening. Take that cancer! Fear my blog!

Second time's a charm

I went into my fourth round into the Thunderdome. I fell asleep 3 times in my chair, which has NEVER happened. Turns out, taking two Xanax makes you sleeply. i intended to only take one, but I forgot I took one and then popped another about an hour later. oops. It was ok because it was still within my dosage but i've never take 2 at a time.
Got my new schedule for this month and early July, and hopefully there won't be any set backs in the future. I was a .6 with the white blood cells and they want me at 1. I can't remember the formula to get to that. Stupid math.
Dr. shorty was alittle bit concerned my cough but listened to my lungs and they are fine. I'll have to watch if I keep having a dry cough. could be a sign of puliminary fibrosis or something. Also, have to watch the nerve issues. She said as long as the nerve tingliness goes away, that's OK. it's if it sticks around I'm screwed.
I'm still super tired. I took all my meds when I got home except my acid pill which I try to wait until I go to bed. I feel ok right now. Had 1/2 a twice baked potato made by my hetero life partner Lisa. (We are life partners, but not in a romantic way. We'll live together Golden Girls style when we are 70 if our husbands are no longer in the picture) The potato was delicious. My hubby had the pork,which ws a little spicy, so I passed to try to keep my stomach safe.
I want to avoid the nausea I had last time. Wasn't too bad but still stopped me from doing some things.
My wig is supposed to be here tomorrow, so hopefully I can pick it up before I get my shot tomorrow.
The World Cup is about to start and the hubby is stoked. He's got out his Beasley Jersey. I'm hoping to feel well enough to maybe join him watching the game at Radio Radio Saturday. If not, I'll just lay on my couch and watch it. I like soccer, but now I definitely know more about players and clubs etc. For example, last year, I decided to root Stoke City in the English Premier league because their name is STOKE CITY. But i believe the sucked and have to go back to the minors. :(
I'd like to feel well enough to get at least a couple hours of work done tomorrow before I get shot (with Nulestra).
thanks for all the well wishes! We really appreciate them!!

Had my blood drawn today. Hopefully my white blood cells were doing their job and regenerating so I'll be able to have chemo tomorrow. I'll be VERY sad if I have to postpone it again for many reasons - I rescheduled my Jersey Boys Tickets to next Thursday and I'm going! I was supposed to go tomorrow but because of the chemo switch, I had to move the tickets. I don't want to do it again.
So, if all goes well, I'll have chemo, then go in Friday for a shot. yay.
I apparently have a good port. Everyone who's used it to draw blood compliments me on it. Today, the nurse asked me if she just has to poke it in the center. She said that some people's ports shift or something. I'm like, uh, what? No, Mort follows directions and he is where he should be. Dr. Gupta does good work, so if you ever need a port, I recommend him. :)

She also asked me what size needle they usually use. How do I know? The one that comes in that sterile bag! :P She didn't ask because she was dumb, but she just wanted to follow with what I've always done. But I don't know these things. I have to turn away half the time because it's weird seing a tube coming out of my chest with blood in it.

Light the Night update: We're 42 percent to our goal! Kate up'd it to $1500. Woo! I've got $275. yay! If you're feeling generous, feel free to donate at http://pages.lightthenight.org/in/Indianap10/JNelson
:)

Hello

I'm still here, but nothing too much to report on. I have a blood draw tomorrow and hopefully the WBC count is up. I want to have chemo, as weird as it sounds because I just want to get this over with.
Since having an extra week between chemo, I've put on some weight. It's probably for the best, but frankly, I was enjoying being 10 pounds lighter. :P Not that I want to lose a lot of weight, but again, got to look at the positives, right? ;)

blessing in disguise

Not having chemo yesterday turned out to be a blessing in disguise (at least, that's how I feel right now). If I wasn't able to work today, we would have been screwed. We were down two men, trying to get a paper out, and deal with the new site.
We found out Friday morning that we were not going to be locked out today and in fact, will be locked out Monday and Tuesday. this is NOT good. Basically, we'll have to get all the new issue stories in the site wednesday morning. Most likely after the new site goes live. joy.
For some reason, I've had some left knee pain today. Can't figure it out. I don't recall tweaking it or hitting it on anything. It's just really sore if bent a certain way. I'm going to go ahead and blame cancer. :P maybe it's my low WBC count. Or maybe my knee is just not feeling it right now.
I've been feeling ok, but definitely tired. again, i'm going to blame the WBC count.

No chemo for me

I got to Dr. Shorty's this afternoon for chemo only to find out that my white blood cell count is too low to have chemo today. If i went ahead and had it, chances are I'd end up in the hospital.
This isn't uncommon and pushes me back a week. By then, the thought is my WBC count will be back up to a level inwhich I can have the chemo. This also means that I'll have to have that nuestra shot each Friday after chemo. It bumps up my wbc count. I had it right after my first treatment. I was afraid based on what I had read that it wold debilitate me, but I don't remember it being too bad. Perhaps I should go back and ready my previous posts. It can cause severe bone pain. I remember feeling sore, but nothing that wasn't tolerable. It went away after a few days.
I'm disappointed because this means I will be done later than I expected. I knew when my treatments were and were able to plan stuff around them. Now when I thought I'd feel good this month, I won't, and vice versa. For example, we have Jersey Boys tickets for next Thursday. That' chemo day now and so I can't go. I'm hoping I can move them to another night. :(
The silver lining in this set back is that I will hopefully feel fine when we launch our new Web site next week. My fear was I'd feel like crap and be useless. Maybe this is God's way of making sure I can be of most use to my company. So, I get another week of feeling good. I am tired though. Not sure if it's the low WBC count, or the disappointment of not getting another treatment over with.

Four!

Editor's note: Math was never my strong suit, so I got my numbers wrong. Today I will be a THIRD of the way through, 33 percent! Carry on.
Tomorrow is round No. 4 in the bout between cancer and me. Hooha! In one way, this time is going very quickly, but in another, it's moving at a snails pace. October seems so far away.
As I recently wrote, I've been feeling really good lately. I'm not 100 percent, and wont' be until after all this crap is gone, but I'd say I've been at 89%. Tummy still kind of hurts occassionally, but nothing like last time.
I had Budbs tonight for dinner - I may regret it later. ;)It's the first time I've had it since the week I found the lump. I missed you Bdubs.
I had my blood draw today and every time I go, the people do it differently. I haven't had the same person. Some clean my port off, some don't. One lady made me wear a mask because shes' uber paranoid. At least the numbing cream works!
I've been busy at work and working tonight. I am going to try to get at least 3 hours of work in, maybe more. We'll see how long I can stare at the computer. For our new site, they are locking us out starting Friday until Monday. So, even if I felt ok,there really wouldn't be anything for me to do for the new site. I guess I'll just take the day off. But it's not like I've been working that Friday anyway, but I was going to try to get a few hours in if I could.
My wig still isn't here, but I did get another hat. It's a white hat, similar to the girlie brown baseball hat I got. Hair is still falling out rapidly, but I think I'm not going to shave it.I see no need. Although I did find my hair in my taco at lunch. That was not cool.
I have to go in early tomorrow for chemo. I guess the late night nurse, whose name escapes me right now (Tam, Lam,) something German-ish, won't be in. I hope then to be home by 5:30. Hopefully i'll keep the nausea in check and can just be a lazy bum this weekend. :P