D-day (Diagnosis-day)

April 5, 2010. That's when I learned I have cancer. Hodgkin's lymphoma. I suspected it after the gammut of tests I had, but to finally hear the words was both devastating and a relief.
Several people suggested I write about my experiences and I decided to go the 21st century route and blog. Why keep these thoughts to myself? People may want to know the details and I figure I've got nothing to hide.

It's really surreal to comprehend and say "I have cancer." I don't really feel sick, although I'm sore in some spots. Looking back, I see that I had some of the signs, but I ignored them because I didn't think they were major. I never had a fever, I didn't lose weight, I never felt sick. Heck, I just ran a 5k in early March, and had been running and working out for months. I worked out pretty hard the Tuesday I noticed the lump.

The hubby was golfing that evening, so after work I decided to go to Target and see if I couldn't pick myself up something pretty. In the dressing room, I noticed the left side of my neck was really swollen. It didn't hurt, but it looked like I had bulked up, but just on the left side. I called a couple people for advice, thinking it was just a pulled muscle. I iced it, took some ibuprofen, and went to work the next day. It wasn't until my co-worker gasped at the sight of it did I think, hmmm, maybe not a pulled muscle.

I got into my doctor who immediately ordered me to Clarian West for an ultra sound. At this point, I never thought cancer. I was thinking maybe it's an infection. I had been coughing a lot lately. But once the ultra sound nurse and doctor looked at the results and told me not to leave, I knew I was in trouble. When they said they wanted a CT scan and I biopsy, I lost it. I know what biopsys are for, although they never said cancer.

So several tests later, I come to learn I've got Hodgkin's disease (or as they now call it Hodgkin's lymphoma). I've been told this is one of the "better" cancers to have because it's very treatable. Survival rates are very high.

Anyone who knows me knows I handle stress great and I'm never anxious...Actually I've been a hot mess. I've held up better than I thought, but I'm still freaking out. I think I've already lost weight. I'm very scared for the actual treatment. I don't think I'm a very strong person, I'm wussy when it comes to doctors, and I've been very lucky in my life that i've had minimal health problems. I have awful veins. These next few months are going to be interesting...

You may be wondering why I subtitled my blog Thunderdome style. Why not? Actually, I was trying to think of some clever name, which usually yields no clever results. But I figure if I have to take on cancer, I'm doing it in a steel cage. Maybe Tina Turner will make a guest appearance.

My goal is to update this as frequently as I can. I think it will be cathartic, or at least allow me to flex my creative muscle. I'm not a strong creative writer. That journalism background lets me tell you the facts, but not always with pizzaz. I want pizzaz!