Cancer sucks. No matter what kind you have, whether it's highly curable or terminal, it sucks on so many levels. I am quite lucky to have a highly curable type, but doesn't mean fighting it is easy.
Case in point - this morning. As you faithful readers know, i've been struggling with constipation. I've been putting in a lot of work for little results. Laxatives didn't do anything. This morning, around 1:30 a.m., I was miserable. Finally broke down and called the doc. The solution - try an enima - at home or the hospital. I elected for the at-home version.
Oh boy.
My wonderful husband got up and went out in search of a 24 hour drug store. Note to readers: nothing is open late in Fountain Square. I can't imagine why. He finally found a 24-hr Kroger on the south side.
After much debate and trepidation, (and a few laughs at the ridiculousness of what was about to happen) I gave myself an enima. Seriously, did that just happen? Honestly, not really that bad, but the after effects are not fun. They work, and now instead of being backed up, it's like the floodgates of hell opened up.
I'm exhausted, physically and mentally from this. I know the hubby is exhausted as he had to get up about an hour after this all happened so he could go to work.
This is not fun. While I feel relieved I'm not longer constipated, I can't help being sad and frustrated that there is the potential for this to happen at least 10 more times.
Sitting there and getting the chemo is almost the easiest part of it all, except toward the end when I'm ready to go and the needle starts to kind of hurt in Mort. I've managed to triumph over nausea so far, but the constipation/heartburn/mouth sores are my biggest enemies. It's like they are tag teaming with cancer in the Thunderdome - cancer + side effects against me. I'm outnumbered!
I'm trying to work from home today, hopefully I can concentrate. I am struggling to stay awake. Is it October yet?
See my comment on your last post that I just added- maybe your doctor would let you do that instead of an enema. They both have the same nasty result, but I don't know about you, but I'd rather drink something than the other option!
ReplyDeleteSorry, no helpful advice--I have always had the opposite problem. October will be here before you know it and with it all sorts of celebrations that you are DONE!
ReplyDeleteCancer and its posse of side effects might put in a few good rounds against you, but you will outlast them. I believe in you.
Oh and I can post now at work again...