Light the Night

Yesterday was the Light the Night walk at Victory Field. It was a beautiful night, not too cool or hot, but a little windy. We had much better weather than our NYC teammates, who had to walk in the pouring rain!

We met at 6:30 but the walk didn't start for nearly an hour later. There were speakers, but I couldn't really hear them. It was nice and overwhelming to see how many people showed up to walk in my honor. Redteam kicked butt and raised more than $2,500 I believe! Way to go!!!

But when you have about 30 people there, it can be a challenge to speak to everyone. I have to admit I was somewhat stressed out last night, which I wanted to avoid. I just wanted to go and walk, but instead, I wanted to make sure I walked with and spoke with everyone who came. I'm not sure if I was able to accomplish that. And when you have that big of a group, it's impossible to stay together. I really didn't get a chance to take in the scenery and everything of people walking because I was too busy trying to find people in my group to talk to. It is what it is, but I still had a good night.

The best part of the night to me was when I was walking back into Victory Field with my friend Maryann and we look on the jumbotron and there's our picture!! Perfect timing! TheLLS asked people to submit photos and Maryann did. It was quite fitting and I loved it. We just happened to come in when the J people were being recognized on the tron.

I've got some pictures, and I know others took some too, so I'll try to post a few here and if you took any, can you e- mail them to me? Thank you again to everyone who came out to support me and/or raised money. It was well worth the little bit of stress from last night. Now I've got to figure out where to store the redteam banner with all your messages! :)

Afterwards, mis amigos and I went to Scotty's. I decided tonight was the night I'd have my first adult beverage since early April. After debating back and forth between beer and wine (and I was to only have one drink for the night), I went with beer. Why? Three reasons - It just sounded better, lower alcohol content, and there were $10 pitchers that night.

I must admit, the reunification with Bud Light was so-so. The first few sips took getting used to beer again (my it tastes like bread!) but after a while, I was kind of over it. I can't say I've really ever craved the beer since I couldnt have it, but I am looking forward to be able to having a cold one or glass of wine with dinner or friends every once in a while. As cookie Monster would now say, "Booze is a sometimes food."

I have my next CT scan Tuesday and get the results Wednesday. I'll learn my next steps after Wednesday, depending on the scan.

Take that cancer! Last round in the thunderdome

I finally finished my physical battle against cancer! After 12 rounds, and cancer throwing its cronies of nausea, constipation, diarreah, swelling, pain, low WBCs, hair loss, and all the other crap, i'm done!! I had the last chemo yesterday and so far so good. I'm still in bed recovering but I don't care. I'm just happy that hopefully in 2 days I'll feel good again and won't have to worry about this anymore!

Because of my delayed cancer, all my tests have been pushed back a week, but I still should know by Christmas or my birthday whether the cancer is gone. huzzah!! Still have to be careful about things, avoid smoke and drinking for now, but i may be able to have an adult beverage in the next month or so. huzzah!! :)

What a strange week

The latter half of my week was just random, strange, and stressful. You are already aware of the bad blood draw, the redraw and then the low WBC count. Then there was the incident with my port being clogged but not really so I wasted a trip to the doc's office. You, loyal reader, are also aware that I've had to have the shots again to try to boost said WBC count and hope I can have chemo monday.

Cut to thursday evening. It was a very stressful day for me. I initially wanted to take the day off because it was going to be my last chemo, but then it turned out too many people were busy in the office so I pretty much had to help at least in the morning. It was probably for the best workwise that I didn't have chemo that day because it ended up being a very busy day for us. And for me, trying to balance work, two blood draws, a port flush, and workers at the house.

If stress can mess with your WBC count, then no wonder if was low on thursday. I was in bed by 9 p.m. if that tells you how crazy of a day it was for me.

So, I'm getting ready for bed and putting on my pjs and my left ankle is swollen up like a canckle! Didn't hurt, didn't twist my ankle. Unexplained canckle. the right ankle looked ok, maybe slightly swollen. I thought, maybe it's my shoes, as I was wearing new shoes all day. I called the doc next day and came in just to be sure. She ordered an ultra sound because the swelling (which had gone down considerably overnight) was up in my lower calf area too. But the ultra sound tech didn't see anything and the doc never called me, so again, just some random swelling. the tech told me she gets a lot of chemo patients who experience the same thing. I just think my body is like, wth is going on??

I'm in chemo limbo, or chemo purgatory for all you Catholics out there. I am so close to getting through the gates of heaven (no more chemos) but yet I wait. and wait. and wait. I know I won't get sent to hell (many more chemos) so I wait to have this one, elusive chemo treatement. I just want this to be over with. I guess all my "this hasn't been so bad, i've been lucky, no major setbacks, blah blah blah" has been shoved to the last treatment. :P

Chemo = FAIL

No go on the chemo. sigh. guess my WBCs are angry and just don't want to cooperate. that means 3 more shots, blood work Monday and the hope that I'll be able to have it Monday afternoon. I'm going in to get my port flushed to help with the clotting issue.

The good news about all of this is a)I got to eat a cheeseburger for lunch b) I'll get to go to the IU game Saturday. :)

Keep sending those positive vibes my way friends!

more trouble in paradise

Had my blood drawn this morning to make sure my WBC will allow for chemo. My blood did not want to cooperate. Things didn't get off on a good start when I got there and there was no order from my doc's office. So we had to page dr. shorty and have her call in the order.

Finally we get the order, then there's so much trouble getting a blood return. Eventually we get some but the nurse is worried that my port is clotting up so I need to get an injection in there to make sure it doesn't clot.

Oh about that clotting, just got a call from the lab as i'm typing this that my blood clotted and they can't use it so now i have to go back to the lab and get it drawn through my arm. AH, but when am I supposed to go is the question as I'm stuck here with workers and need to get this done this morning.

Seriously, are the powers that be trying to keep me from having chemo?? BOO URNs. This is way more stressful than it needs to be!!

Last chemo is in jeopardy!

Stupid white blood cells, causing trouble. Turns out my count is low so chemo is now iffy tomorrow. I had my blood drawn this morning and Brandy at the doc's office calls to tell me the bad news. I say, wait, can I give myself a shot and see if that helps? She says sure! So I rush home and stick myself in the stomach for the first time. Giving yourself a shot is odd.

I will have my blood drawn early tomorrow and hope that I can have chemo tomorrow or friday. Please send positive thoughts and prayers my way that I can get this chemo overwith. I'm so close but yet, so far. :P

I'm not bendy

I tried the Yoga last night. The same cancer center that has the blood cancers support group also offers gentle stretching yoga. I like to think of myself as somewhat athletic, but boy yoga can be tough. It doesn't help that i've never been a bendy person. Just sitting in the cross-legged position started to hurt for a while.

I was of course the youngest person in it, but I'd say there were people in their 40s there so that's good. And in talking to one woman, she told me that chemo breaks down your muscle, which also explains why I feel so lame and out of shape. She also recommended I read the Lance Armstrong book (she mentioned it alot) so I will have to go reserve it from the library.

Just a week to go until my last chemo treatment! If I hadn't had to miss a week because of low WBC, then tomorrow would actually be the last, but oh well.