Chemo = FAIL

No go on the chemo. sigh. guess my WBCs are angry and just don't want to cooperate. that means 3 more shots, blood work Monday and the hope that I'll be able to have it Monday afternoon. I'm going in to get my port flushed to help with the clotting issue.

The good news about all of this is a)I got to eat a cheeseburger for lunch b) I'll get to go to the IU game Saturday. :)

Keep sending those positive vibes my way friends!

more trouble in paradise

Had my blood drawn this morning to make sure my WBC will allow for chemo. My blood did not want to cooperate. Things didn't get off on a good start when I got there and there was no order from my doc's office. So we had to page dr. shorty and have her call in the order.

Finally we get the order, then there's so much trouble getting a blood return. Eventually we get some but the nurse is worried that my port is clotting up so I need to get an injection in there to make sure it doesn't clot.

Oh about that clotting, just got a call from the lab as i'm typing this that my blood clotted and they can't use it so now i have to go back to the lab and get it drawn through my arm. AH, but when am I supposed to go is the question as I'm stuck here with workers and need to get this done this morning.

Seriously, are the powers that be trying to keep me from having chemo?? BOO URNs. This is way more stressful than it needs to be!!

Last chemo is in jeopardy!

Stupid white blood cells, causing trouble. Turns out my count is low so chemo is now iffy tomorrow. I had my blood drawn this morning and Brandy at the doc's office calls to tell me the bad news. I say, wait, can I give myself a shot and see if that helps? She says sure! So I rush home and stick myself in the stomach for the first time. Giving yourself a shot is odd.

I will have my blood drawn early tomorrow and hope that I can have chemo tomorrow or friday. Please send positive thoughts and prayers my way that I can get this chemo overwith. I'm so close but yet, so far. :P

I'm not bendy

I tried the Yoga last night. The same cancer center that has the blood cancers support group also offers gentle stretching yoga. I like to think of myself as somewhat athletic, but boy yoga can be tough. It doesn't help that i've never been a bendy person. Just sitting in the cross-legged position started to hurt for a while.

I was of course the youngest person in it, but I'd say there were people in their 40s there so that's good. And in talking to one woman, she told me that chemo breaks down your muscle, which also explains why I feel so lame and out of shape. She also recommended I read the Lance Armstrong book (she mentioned it alot) so I will have to go reserve it from the library.

Just a week to go until my last chemo treatment! If I hadn't had to miss a week because of low WBC, then tomorrow would actually be the last, but oh well.

Chemo 11 is in the books

Hello blogger friends,

I'm still in bed. It's 5 p.m. Why you ask? because I'm awesome. I just haven't felt like getting out of bed. I don't feel terrible, but I don't feel great. Probably like last time, which ended up being ok overall. Let's hope I win this round in the Thunderdome again.

I've ordered ten items from the library about healthy cooking, cooking for cancer survivors, and what do do after cancer. Now I wait for them to roll in to the FS library to pick up. Huzzah, I love the library.

I'm stoked that this is the second to last time that I have to go through this. i'm also stoked that the dead mouse smell appears to be disappaiting. I'm also stoked that work is moving forward on our upstairs. Whoo hoo!

11!

Chemo No. 11 is tomorrow! That means i've been doing chemo for 23 weeks now (includes the week I had to skip). And trust me, it feels like it's been 6 months. This time has gone quickly but it hasn't flown by. Let's hope chemo no. 11 treats me as well as chemo no. 10 did.

I stuffed my face tonight because I really won't eat much tomorrow or Friday. It's ok that i had 4 cookies. :)

Adventures in support groups

I went to my first support group yesterday at the wellness center on the Northwest side. I was warned by the LLS rep when I called to see if I could just show up that I would be one of the younger people there. I sure was, by like 30 years. This support group is specifically for blood cancers. Everyone was quite nice, but no one had HL and we seriously had conversations about MCL (the cafeteria, not the cancer) and splitting pills. Deep stuff.

I could tell these people all knew each other and cared about each other, and that was nice. I think i'm going to try the Anna's group next Thursday, which is for younger cancer patients in general, not specifically blood disorders. Hopefully no discussions of MCL will come up.

I did learn in my group that people with lymphoma (or is it just cancer...?) are at a higher risk for blood clots in life. Woohoo! this re-emphasizes my goal to start eating "cleaner" but frankly i've just been too lazy (and cheap) to do so. I really need to buck up and fork over the extra money for organic produce and non hormonified meat.

In other cancer-related news, I'm finally off my antibotic. I think it's actually done more harm than good. It has destroyed my digestive system to the point that I'm going to the bathroom several times a day and haven't had the need for Miralax since taking the drug. I hope I bounce back soon. I never thought I would pine for a solid poo, but I am. :)

I'll get blood work tomorrow and then Thursday it's chemo no. 11! Yippee! then I'll only have one more to go. Joy!

Is anyone else excited for Halloween? I'm looking at it as an opportunity for me to get cheap, crazy wigs!

Stand up 2 cancer

Woohoo! I had labs Friday morning and I didn't need to keep having the shot through the weekend, so that means no more shot for a while! I'm not a wuss when it comes to shots, but man, these shots hurt. It may be that my husband is giving them to me and not as skilled as a nurse who does this a lot or it may just be the shot hurts.

It hit me within the last few days that my cancer run is winding down. I've had tunnel vision on to get through this that I was just so focused on getting through a treatment then getting back to "normal." I haven't done any cancer activities, gone to support groups, or really taken advantage of the resources out there for me. So my goal is to go to the Leukemia and Lymphoma support group Monday. they meet the second monday of the month up on the NW side and I completely forgot about it until recently. I'd like to meet some people with HL or at least other blood disorders. Because as wonderful as my friends and famiy have been through this, most of them have no idea what this is like (thank god!) and it would be nice to talk to others who get it. I'll try to hold off on the cancer jokes until I get a feel of the crowd. Some people don't have good senses of humor but hey, if I can't joke about it then it just makes it worse!

Stand up 2 cancer was on TV last night. I feel like the phenomenon that you don't notice something until it's pointed out to you and then you see it all the time, well that's happening with me and cancer. I didn't really pay attention to cancer that much before I was diagnosed, and now I feel like it's everywhere! Stand up 2 cancer on TV, celebrities getting diagnosed, people dying, billboards, tv shows, it's everywhere!

Light the Night is about a month away. Time to start getting your donations, walkers! And you can always make a donation to our team at www.lightthenight.org and search Redteam! :)

Hello blog readers! I'm on day two of the new shot. I believe the hubby enjoys inflicting the pain on me. Shots don't really bother me, like I know some people freak out over them, but I definitely don't like them. I don't think I can shoot myself yet. Don't think I could pull the trigger unless I had to.

This new shot is a smaller dose of pretty much the old shot. I definitely feel the bone pain sooner but it's all tolerable. I have blood work Friday to tell me whether I need to keep getting the shots over the weekend. I'm looking forward to an off weekend. Hopefully I'll get some things done around the house and get to see Kathy Griffin Sunday! woo. :)

today's post is brought to you by the letters C H E M and O, and the number 10

Number 10 is in the books! Now I just have to make my way through it. The nausea hasn't been as bad, so I'm hoping it will stay that way!! I finally got out of my pajamas (yes, it's 3:15 p.m.)

Met with doctor yesterday and she decided I could have chemo. She was concerned that my WBC count is high - 20,000. Normal is 4-7,000 I believe she said (or maybe it was 7-11,000) Anyway, as a result, the good news is...NO MORE NULESTA SHOT! that means I don't have to drag my bad feeling butt out of the house on Fridays anymore. I guess it's overstimulating my WBC.

But, there is a downside. I have to have a shot several times a week now starting Tuesday. this shot gives a shorter amount of stimulation to my WBC, so we can better control it. I can either go into the office to get the shot or give it to myself. JOY. Jonathan is going to come the first time to see how to do it so he can give it me too. Hopefully I will only need it 4 days between each round, but the doc said it could be 4-10 days. Icky.

Only 2 more times!!!!

Random bits

I realize I've neglected the blog, partly out of being busy, partly out of laziness. I apologize, especially to those of you who use this blog as a way to waste some time at work.

Here's an update on my life in the last week or so:

- The hubby and I went up to Chicago last weekend. It's probably the only vacation I'll get, although it was just a weekend trip. We were supposed to go to NYC for a wedding and then I was going to Las Vegas for fun, but cancer but the kabosh on those. I had a good time visiting with a college friend, and I surpised myself with how much walking I did. But the heat and crowds of Navy Pier got to me. I guess tall ships really bring the people in. And I hate crowds. I hate being hot, so we got out of Navy Pier pretty quickly. Interestingly enough, I noticed two othe cancer patients there. You know, we kind of stick out. Not too many women wear hats that are bald underneath or wear scarves on their heads (well, except pirates or bikers). I found that interesting because out and about in Indy or everywhere else in Chicago, I didn't spot any other fellow cancer patients, at least those who've lost hair.

-i did my part to spend money at GAP stores last weekend so that 5% of my shopping went to the LLS. I hope you took advantage of the discount and spent a lot too! :)

- Battling a little set back right now. It may be minor, it could be medium; I'll find out tomorrow. Let me set the stage. Tuesday was a very busy day for me. I was non stop doing webby things until about 5 p.m. I barely had time to eat. After work, I walked across the street to the mall and it hit me. I felt like crap. I almost started to cry in the dressing room, but didn't want to cause a scene. I noticed I was short of breath and when I would breathe in deeply, I'd cough. Of course, me being paranoid thought PNEUMONIA!! Even though I take a medicine that's supposed to help prevent that. I also worried that maybe some lymphnodes managed to grow supersize in a week since my CT scan. I powered through and made it home.

When I got home, I had a slight fever 99.2. my normal temp is 97.9ish, so this was a little high. I have to worry if I get into the 100s. As the night went on, the temp kept going up and I started to get nauseous. Wait, i thought this was only supposed to happen AFTER chemo, not before. So, around 7 I call Dr. Shorty's office. She gets back to me and wants me to get a blood draw. That night. When all the labs are closed. After some finagaling, I go to St. Francis South and have my blood drawn. She was worried my white blood cell count may be low.

Turns out, it wasn't that low. (thanks, nulestra shot!) Dr. Shorty calls me before 7 a.m. this morning to say she wants me to get a chest xray. I got that and I'll find out the results tomorrow. Dr Shorty didn't seem too optimistic in me having chemo tomorrow. I am going in for my normal chemo appointment and I guess I'll find out after she sees me.

Of course, I don't want to have chemo because, well, IT SUCKS. But, I want to get it over with, so I want to have it. I'm leaning toward hoping I have it. I'm feeling much better today, but drained. I've started an anti-biotic (boo) and struggling to take that. You, the reader, are quite familiar with my big pill troubles. And this is a big pill. I got a pill cutter to try to take it. Helps, but I still struggle because it starts to dissolve when it gets in my mouth and antibiotics are nasty. It's going to be a long 10 days. Crushing is an option, but ugh. Here's what I love though. the pharamcist says, oh crush it and put it in yogurt. it will help with your digestion issues. I get home and look at the pill bottle - says do not take with milk or yogurt. Talk about mixed signals.

That's a recap of where I'm at. I'll try to be better about keeping up. Hopefully my next post will be about how miserable i am because I got chemo.

And don't forget, there's still time to donate to our Light the Night team!!